Amber Rae

@heyamberrae

2922 posts258403 followers921 following
📖 Bestselling Author, Artist & Speaker 🌀 Feelings, well-being & self-discovery 👇🏽 Get my book “Choose Wonder Over Worry”
Conflict is inevitable in our important relationships. The difference between conflict bringing us closer together or taking us further apart is how we show up for and navigate the hard convos. Here are a few tips ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d love to hear: Is there a convo you’ve been avoiding? Which tool might help? 🤗16 hours agoDownload
Conflict is inevitable in our important relationships. The difference between conflict bringing us closer together or taking us further apart is how we show up for and navigate the hard convos. Here are a few tips ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d love to hear: Is there a convo you’ve been avoiding? Which tool might help? 🤗16 hours agoDownload
Conflict is inevitable in our important relationships. The difference between conflict bringing us closer together or taking us further apart is how we show up for and navigate the hard convos. Here are a few tips ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d love to hear: Is there a convo you’ve been avoiding? Which tool might help? 🤗16 hours agoDownload
Conflict is inevitable in our important relationships. The difference between conflict bringing us closer together or taking us further apart is how we show up for and navigate the hard convos. Here are a few tips ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d love to hear: Is there a convo you’ve been avoiding? Which tool might help? 🤗16 hours agoDownload
Conflict is inevitable in our important relationships. The difference between conflict bringing us closer together or taking us further apart is how we show up for and navigate the hard convos. Here are a few tips ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d love to hear: Is there a convo you’ve been avoiding? Which tool might help? 🤗16 hours agoDownload
Conflict is inevitable in our important relationships. The difference between conflict bringing us closer together or taking us further apart is how we show up for and navigate the hard convos. Here are a few tips ❤️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’d love to hear: Is there a convo you’ve been avoiding? Which tool might help? 🤗16 hours agoDownload
How it feels to have a hard convo... maybe you can relate?! 💁🏻‍♀️ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
This is basically the journey my husband and I went on last night when we had a few hard things to talk about. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Early in our relationship, when we didn’t see eye to eye or feel heard by the other person, it would trigger both of us, we’d react, and we’d need space before we could get to a resolution. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Today, we’ve learned how to stay when it’s uncomfortable, take responsibility when there’s something for us to own, and speak very frankly about what isn’t working and what we need without making it mean we’re flawed. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Our fav communication techniques:
✨ Speak from first person (I feel..., I need..., I’m noticing...) and avoid third person (you make me feel..., you’re not...)
✨Own the story you’re making up, e.g. “I’m making this mean...” or “The story I’m creating about this is...”
✨Acknowledge what *is* working (I felt really seen by you when you said..., I felt your support when...) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀
Happy conflict navigating, fam ✨2 days agoDownload
Happy Sunday, loves. ✨ 
3 of my Fav things to Notice:
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1. What ENERGIZES me. Energy is my compass. I prioritize where I focus my attention by what is the most energizing and engaging. It takes me into flow state and it’s where I experience the most joy and tend to accomplish the most meaningful work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
How I left a career in brand marketing and tech—and eventually found myself here today as an author and artist—is all because I followed pulls of energy and curiosity. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
2. What I’m GRATEFUL for. The practice of gratitude presences me to what I already have, and how that’s important and meaningful. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I read in The New York Times recently that in successful relationships, the positive interactions outnumber the negative moments by at least five to one. This reminded me that the times when I can find fault in a relationship—or in any area of life—there are probably five or more other moments that I’m immensely grateful for, and I can point my attention there, too. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
3. What’s NOT WORKING & why. This is one of the most important reflections I do because it illuminates what I get to change. I’m a big fan of rapid experimentation and iteration, and so I’m always trying things on, seeing how they feel, and making adjustments. I used to feel terrified of trying new things for fear it might not work, but now I celebrate what *doesn’t* work—and *why* it’s not working—so that I can discover and uncover what *does*. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Happy Noticing, friends! ✨5 days agoDownload
A few months ago, I experienced a big breakthrough in an important relationship. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I had been holding on to a painful experience from our past and creating a cage around my heart. I was unwilling to forgive because I was still hooked in a pattern of shame and blame. Even though the situation had hurt me, I wasn’t taking responsibility for the role I could now play in the story, and I used that narrative to justify my anger and actions. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When this pattern was brought to my attention, I realized that I was holding on because the benefit it gave me was the position of a victim. As a victim, I didn’t have to take responsibility, face the situation, or change. Instead, I could justify my anger and perpetuate a cycle of suffering.
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This awareness woke me up and propelled me into creating a new narrative. It also inspired this pyramid, which illustrates the stages I walked through.
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They are:
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Awareness: I realize something isn’t working and needs to change. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Responsibility: I recognize that I am the creator of my reality. While I cannot change the past, I am responsible for and committed to my healing and growth today. I am actively scripting the narrative I choose to let lead my life moving forward. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Forgiveness: I release shame and blame. I realize that holding on hurts me more than anyone. I let go of what could have been different and choose acceptance. I am more committed to my joy than my pain. My heart reopens. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Peace: I no longer hold a charge about the event. I now see how the experience strengthened me and helped me grow. I feel gratitude for my revelations and heightened awareness. I feel safe and at home within myself. I feel free. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Joy: I am here, in this moment, fully. I am present to what is. 🥰
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🙏🏼❤️✨#oldiebutgoodie10 days agoDownload
I noticed this afternoon that I was experiencing stress about an upcoming decision, and then I was reacting to that stress and creating more of it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I paused and took a breath. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A big part of what I teach in my talks and workshops is that we are not our thoughts and feelings; we are the witness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Sensations like stress, anxiety, overwhelm, sadness, joy and anger come and go, and the key is learning to not over-identify with and hook into a story about the emotion, and instead to practice non-judgmental and compassionate observation.
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For example, here’s what was happening earlier:
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Feeling: uncertainty and stress
Thoughts: “I’m stressed!” “danger!” “Urgent” “omg, what do I do!” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ My underlying story/fear: not making the right choice, not doing things the “right way,” failure and making a mistake 
My unconscious reaction: thinking up all the worst case scenarios and what I should have done differently; my mind spinning; reaching out to Farhad and vomiting all the stress feelings 😂
My conscious response: Noticing I’m in reaction and choosing to shift to the witness. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
With gentle awareness and kindness toward my self, I shifted by pausing and taking a breath. I noticed that I was over-identifying with stress by saying “I’m stressed” and so I shifted into the witness by saying, “I’m noticing stress and anxiety right now.” Then, I tuned into where I felt the sensations in my body—in my shoulders and chest—and breathed into the sensations. A few minutes later, once I had observed the tightness and stress, and allowed for space between me and the feelings, the sensations shifted into calmness and peace. 🙏🏼
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So the next time you feel an uncomfy emotion, remember this: you are not your feelings; you are the witness to them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Research has shown that the lifespan of emotions is about 6-90 seconds. But the story we create (e.g. this is bad, I’m doing the wrong thing, I shouldn’t feel this way, etc.) is what sticks and perpetuates the feelings even more. ✨✨✨11 days agoDownload
Writing is how I found my way back home to myself. It supported me in shedding the stories, beliefs, and conditioning that stifled me, and write my way into a new story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here are a few journaling prompts to cultivate compassion in your life. 💕
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Happy Sunday, fam. ✨12 days agoDownload
Writing is how I found my way back home to myself. It supported me in shedding the stories, beliefs, and conditioning that stifled me, and write my way into a new story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here are a few journaling prompts to cultivate compassion in your life. 💕
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Happy Sunday, fam. ✨12 days agoDownload
Writing is how I found my way back home to myself. It supported me in shedding the stories, beliefs, and conditioning that stifled me, and write my way into a new story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here are a few journaling prompts to cultivate compassion in your life. 💕
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Happy Sunday, fam. ✨12 days agoDownload
Writing is how I found my way back home to myself. It supported me in shedding the stories, beliefs, and conditioning that stifled me, and write my way into a new story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here are a few journaling prompts to cultivate compassion in your life. 💕
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Happy Sunday, fam. ✨12 days agoDownload
Writing is how I found my way back home to myself. It supported me in shedding the stories, beliefs, and conditioning that stifled me, and write my way into a new story. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Here are a few journaling prompts to cultivate compassion in your life. 💕
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Happy Sunday, fam. ✨12 days agoDownload
Over the last decade, I’ve been both a guide and doula for other’s potential and creativity, as well as an artist and student of the human experience. Aligning these two forces—as catalyst and creator—has been key to my sense of purpose and fulfillment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If I’m *only* serving as a catalyst for others, I start to feel drained and even resentful because it feels as if I’m dishonoring my own gifts.
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And if I’m *only* unlocking myself, I start to feel disconnected and uninspired. I lose motivation and something feels “missing.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The sweet spot of flow for me—and how I feel the most joy—is when I’m awakening inner treasures and meeting new parts of myself, and through that discovery and unlocking, planting seeds for and catalyzing others. Why? So that we may all free our true essential selves. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Why do you create?
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🌱🔮✨💕🌸🌞🌀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀14 days agoDownload
How do we shift habits that are difficult to change?
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Here’s my process in five steps:
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1. Clarify the habit I want to change — what’s no longer serving me? What have I outgrown? 
2. What it gives me — what benefit do I get from this habit? How does it make me FEEL? 
3. What I can replace it with — what do I value more?
4. So, I will — what small step can I realistically commit to? How can I make it easy for me to execute on? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Who can I be accountable to? — who can support me in staying true to my goal? (Not included in the art above, though so helpful and important!)
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The most important realization I had in the process of shifting hard-to-break habits is realizing that everything I do is to feel a certain way. Once I could unpack WHY I was doing it and the BENEFIT it gave me, I could replace it with something I enjoyed and valued more.
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Let’s take negative self-talk, for example. This is a habit I didn’t want and was convinced was adding nothing to my life. Guess what it was giving me? CONTROL. With that realization, I replaced it with what I enjoy more: humor, lightness, and play. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s why I started nicknaming and having fun with my critical inner characters. There’s Doc, the Impostor (a neuroscientist at Harvard 😂), Grace the Perfectionist (nothing is ever good enough), and Anxious Annie (always freaked out). Now when my critics act out, I can laugh and think, “Oh, that’s Annie getting worked up because she’s trying to protect me. This is where I grow. Onward!”
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Or Evening wine. I love me some wine, but noticed there were times when I turned to it to relax and numb, which often left me feeling foggy the next day. Understanding that I drank wine to relax and feel pleasure inspired me to replace it with something I enjoy just as much: restorative yoga. ⠀
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What habits do you want to start shifting this week? Swipe right for a template to get started 💙15 days agoDownload
How do we shift habits that are difficult to change?
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Here’s my process in five steps:
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1. Clarify the habit I want to change — what’s no longer serving me? What have I outgrown? 
2. What it gives me — what benefit do I get from this habit? How does it make me FEEL? 
3. What I can replace it with — what do I value more?
4. So, I will — what small step can I realistically commit to? How can I make it easy for me to execute on? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
5. Who can I be accountable to? — who can support me in staying true to my goal? (Not included in the art above, though so helpful and important!)
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The most important realization I had in the process of shifting hard-to-break habits is realizing that everything I do is to feel a certain way. Once I could unpack WHY I was doing it and the BENEFIT it gave me, I could replace it with something I enjoyed and valued more.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Let’s take negative self-talk, for example. This is a habit I didn’t want and was convinced was adding nothing to my life. Guess what it was giving me? CONTROL. With that realization, I replaced it with what I enjoy more: humor, lightness, and play. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That’s why I started nicknaming and having fun with my critical inner characters. There’s Doc, the Impostor (a neuroscientist at Harvard 😂), Grace the Perfectionist (nothing is ever good enough), and Anxious Annie (always freaked out). Now when my critics act out, I can laugh and think, “Oh, that’s Annie getting worked up because she’s trying to protect me. This is where I grow. Onward!”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Or Evening wine. I love me some wine, but noticed there were times when I turned to it to relax and numb, which often left me feeling foggy the next day. Understanding that I drank wine to relax and feel pleasure inspired me to replace it with something I enjoy just as much: restorative yoga. ⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What habits do you want to start shifting this week? Swipe right for a template to get started 💙15 days agoDownload
I recently wrote about how I messed up in a work collab, and how I took responsibility to make it right and forgive myself. Soooo many of you wrote sharing that you are challenged by that last part: self-forgiveness. I put together this collection to share ways I’ve found my way back to peace, and how you can, too. 🙏🏼
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I’d love to know, how do you practice forgiveness? 👇🏼17 days agoDownload
I recently wrote about how I messed up in a work collab, and how I took responsibility to make it right and forgive myself. Soooo many of you wrote sharing that you are challenged by that last part: self-forgiveness. I put together this collection to share ways I’ve found my way back to peace, and how you can, too. 🙏🏼
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I’d love to know, how do you practice forgiveness? 👇🏼17 days agoDownload
I recently wrote about how I messed up in a work collab, and how I took responsibility to make it right and forgive myself. Soooo many of you wrote sharing that you are challenged by that last part: self-forgiveness. I put together this collection to share ways I’ve found my way back to peace, and how you can, too. 🙏🏼
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I’d love to know, how do you practice forgiveness? 👇🏼17 days agoDownload
I recently wrote about how I messed up in a work collab, and how I took responsibility to make it right and forgive myself. Soooo many of you wrote sharing that you are challenged by that last part: self-forgiveness. I put together this collection to share ways I’ve found my way back to peace, and how you can, too. 🙏🏼
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I’d love to know, how do you practice forgiveness? 👇🏼17 days agoDownload
I recently wrote about how I messed up in a work collab, and how I took responsibility to make it right and forgive myself. Soooo many of you wrote sharing that you are challenged by that last part: self-forgiveness. I put together this collection to share ways I’ve found my way back to peace, and how you can, too. 🙏🏼
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I’d love to know, how do you practice forgiveness? 👇🏼17 days agoDownload
Is it just me, or did September FLY BY?
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Fresh off the new moon and stepping into fall, here’s our October Check-in. If you share to your story, tag me so I can see! 🙏🏼
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My answers:
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The highlight last month was... getting KITTENS. Luna and Leo are bringing so much joy to our lives. 😻
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This month I want to feel... Grounded. Joyful. Soulful. In flow. Heart-connected. Supporter. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I’ll be over the moon if by Nov, I... have all systems ready to release my first collection of physical products (more deets soon 😍), and have worked in a way that has me feel nourished and in tune with myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One thing I’ll regret not doing in Oct is... moving my body and sweating. Starting my Kundalini yoga practice. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I want to give myself more permission to... experiment and play. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
If I get stuck, I’ll remember... it’s okay to not know. Take a step back and recenter yourself. The answers are within. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀17 days agoDownload
This quote comes from Delilah in one of my favorite tv shows, @millionlittlethingsabc, which premieres TONIGHT on ABC at 9/8c. (Who’s watching?!) When the show premiered last year, I was instantly hooked. It follows the journey of a group of friends who have a big wake-up call when one of them dies unexpectedly. Exploring themes like love, loss, grief, friendship and mental health, the show gives me hope for how the world of entertainment can positively impact our culture and show that we’re not alone. Because like the quote says above, we *are* allowed to feel whatever it is that we feel—and in a culture that often tells us to do the opposite—feeling our feelings is a brave and revolutionary act. I LOVE the show, have watched every episode, and can’t wait to tune in tonight. #ad #AMillionLittleThings22 days agoDownload
✨ BRINGING BOUNDARIES BACK ✨
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I’ve gotten a lotttt of questions over the last week about how to know what your boundaries and needs are, so I’m bringing this template back with new personal examples, and a cheat sheet for you to fill in (swipe right). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Boundaries help us take care of and honor ourselves. They give us personal agency and power to make decisions that align with our values. They teach people who we are and how we want to be respected in relationships. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A few things on what boundaries are NOT: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ They are not spiteful or mean-spirited. Boundaries support us in creating clearly defined and harmonious relationships. When both parties are willing and able to know what is and is not okay in a relationship, it can reduce conflict dramatically. ✨That said, not everyone will respond well when we set boundaries, and we’re not responsible for their reaction. A lot of people didn’t learn to set boundaries growing up, so we still have a lot of cultural baggage here. What’s important is to stay true to and honor you—regardless of the response. ✨ Boundaries are rooted in what we need to feel safe and true to ourselves. They aren’t external; they’re internal—though external events can often pinpoint what’s important to us.
✨ They’re not always “known.” We can’t expect people to read our minds and know what we need. It’s our responsibility to voice our boundaries, and we can do so with compassion and care—unless the situation calls for firm and fierce.
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To get started on setting yours:
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✨What do you VALUE? (What is non-negotiable and important to you?)
✨ Based on that, what do you NEED to experience that value?
✨ Last, what actions will you take to HONOR YOURSELF?
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Happy boundary setting, fam. 🙏🏼23 days agoDownload
✨ BRINGING BOUNDARIES BACK ✨
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I’ve gotten a lotttt of questions over the last week about how to know what your boundaries and needs are, so I’m bringing this template back with new personal examples, and a cheat sheet for you to fill in (swipe right). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Boundaries help us take care of and honor ourselves. They give us personal agency and power to make decisions that align with our values. They teach people who we are and how we want to be respected in relationships. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
A few things on what boundaries are NOT: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
✨ They are not spiteful or mean-spirited. Boundaries support us in creating clearly defined and harmonious relationships. When both parties are willing and able to know what is and is not okay in a relationship, it can reduce conflict dramatically. ✨That said, not everyone will respond well when we set boundaries, and we’re not responsible for their reaction. A lot of people didn’t learn to set boundaries growing up, so we still have a lot of cultural baggage here. What’s important is to stay true to and honor you—regardless of the response. ✨ Boundaries are rooted in what we need to feel safe and true to ourselves. They aren’t external; they’re internal—though external events can often pinpoint what’s important to us.
✨ They’re not always “known.” We can’t expect people to read our minds and know what we need. It’s our responsibility to voice our boundaries, and we can do so with compassion and care—unless the situation calls for firm and fierce.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
To get started on setting yours:
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✨What do you VALUE? (What is non-negotiable and important to you?)
✨ Based on that, what do you NEED to experience that value?
✨ Last, what actions will you take to HONOR YOURSELF?
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Happy boundary setting, fam. 🙏🏼23 days agoDownload